Tag Archives: Itsnotta farm

Trapped

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I want you to imagine you’re me for a moment. It’s early morning before work. The sun is up, but not quite fully awake, much like your own brain at this hour of the day. It’s time to do morning “farm chores”. Bunny basket is loaded with fresh veggies and fresh water, snacks for the chickens are there too. You’ve made your way through the barn in the dark and loaded up on pellets for the rabbits. Gathering up your stuff, and squeaking in your wet Crocs, you head for the side doorway… there’s no real door, just a passage under the old beams. Just before you make it to the dew laden grass, it smacks you square in the face: a sticky spider web!

If you’re like me, you recoil back, and in disgust, pull the dusty string from your eyelashes and hair, hoping it didn’t get in your mouth or contain its creepy maker, who may be halfway down your t-shirt by now. Now, I don’t have a problem with spiders. They are welcomed here as mosquito eaters and horse fly catchers. They don’t freak me out, in fact, I find the arachnids quite fascinating. You’ll recall how enamoured I was with our garden spider last year (read about it here). Spiders are cool, and neat to watch, but the webs in the barn are strong, sticky and huge! And when you don’t see them and get an eye-full, it is just a little bit unnerving!

In terms of strength to density ratio, a spider silk is 5x stronger than steel. So, although I am able to peel the sticky stuff off my face, the ingenuity of the creature and its trap is surely one for the books. So, let’s muse for a bit. Which side of the web do we wish to be on? Morticia Addams, of the iconic Addams family, once said, “What is normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly.” Perspective is everything. Let’s face it, no one likes to be trapped. Especially if your trapped in something 5x stronger than steel and beady little eyes are staring you down with lunch in mind. Alas, people aren’t often targeted for lunch… but we certainly feel trapped from time to time.

Perhaps it’s a job you hate. Maybe it’s a trying relationship, or a financial struggle you just can’t seem to pull yourself out of. Many suffer from ailments and are in constant pain. It’s hard to help when someone you love is struggling with health or mental illness. Depression can be just as real as broken bones. It’s everywhere. People are so trapped in darkness, that we so often just give up and allow ourselves to be wrapped in the “death cocoon” waiting to be devoured completely. Like the fly, we are stung and paralysed by our own circumstances, rendering ourselves incapable of getting free.

If you’re there, my friend, I encourage you to seek help. We need each other to pull us out of the muck and mire. Call a friend or find guidance in a program or your local church. God is so much bigger than any situation we face, but He uses people to do His good work. Sometimes seeking help is hard though, too. I don’t like to share with others or ask them to pray for me. It’s being vulnerable, and I have to “think it through”, removed from my emotions, to get there. That’s why relationships are worth the effort. It makes the asking easier. Did you know that if a bee gets tangled in a web and returns to her hive, the other bees will surround her and peel the sticky bee free until she is able to spread her wings again? What a picture of what our churches should be like!

And so, we come to another week of pondering life’s little mysteries. As usual, I have little answers to share, but thoughts nonetheless. I try and learn the lessons presented to me as they come, even when it’s being trapped in dusty, icky spider webs in an early morning barn! Welcome to the journey, my beloved. See you again next week!

The Expert Master Gardener: A Reflection on Life and Lavender

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Welcome back to another week of Livin’ the Dream! It’s been a full week of activity… the hubby and I celebrated another wedding anniversary year of not killing each other, and we hosted our friends for a grand gathering and Bar-B-Que at Itsnotta Farm. One of our kids moved into a new place today, and we found a fabulous little nook off the lake to watch sunsets together (aren’t we romantic?) All around, a good time.

On with the muse for this week, though… enough about me. At said Bar-B-Que, I was touring around a friend and showing off my albeit colourful, but disaster of a flower garden. I have a variety of flowers there, but the goldenrod (aka giant ragweed) is about to take over and give my daughter-in-law a severe case of the sneezes. As the friend and I chatted about this and that that I would like to do in the garden, what I want to swap out, what I love etc. etc. it occurred to me how much I really do recognize in the flower world. I know quite a few plants by name and how tall they get, and where they like to be, and when they are in their prime. I’m not sure how I acquired such knowledge over the years… but it’s somewhere in there rattling around in my brain. Huh! I was impressed with even myself.

One of the many varieties of lavender!

Now, I will openly admit, I am certainly not a horticulturist by any stretch of the imagination. I dabble and dig and hope for the best. I know some common plant names, and googled a few, but certainly don’t know the Latin derivatives nor all their uses. I’m learning though. For our anniversary, the hubby and I visited a working lavender farm for a relaxing afternoon. I love lavender, and it’s been on my list for awhile… even though lavender is not in season at the moment, it was fun to walk through the bee loving “bushes”. Did you know there were several varieties of lavender? Buena vista, lavandin, and edelweiss (a white one!) and 450 some odd other varieties! Of lavender alone, people…

Let’s look back at my golden rod mess… golden rod is a “wild flower” … to me, a weed. Along with cosmos, daisies, buttercups and I’m sure you can name a few others. Tiger lilies are also weeds for me… you can’t kill those things! I found out that one of my favourite wild blue flowers (which grows along the road side but never will transplant to my spaces!) is actually a chicory… like the coffee substitute. A lesson I just learned this week. Now just start to let your mind wander a bit to add flowers to your list from mine. What do you know? Roses. Tropical plants, grasses… it goes on and on. And there is a name for every one! I am sure all the gardening books couldn’t put a dent in the list. Let alone the gardener get it all right.

Oh my beloved, do you see the comparison here? Our Master gardener knows not only every tree, flower and blade of grass, but He knows YOU! Every hair on your head, every wrinkle and every scar. He knows your name and why you are here. And He knows all of us. From the beginning of time to the end – God knows us all! I cannot begin to imagine. I have trouble enough keeping my own kids and pets straight… not to mention cousins and extended relatives. Yet, God knows every minute detail about you and me… and cares about it! Like an expert, He tends the hearts of each of us, like a flower farmer tends his rows of lavender. He knows the conditions necessary for us to flourish, and the things that choke us out and cause us not to flower and bloom where we are planted.

I don’t know about you, but this is so encouraging to me. God’s got this. He knows me better than I know myself! Which can be a little frightening, I suppose. Yet, the awesomeness of it, seems to outweigh the fear for me. A deep muse which I don’t understand, but captivates me nonetheless.

So, next time you drive by a field of wildflowers, or pull those “weeds” from your flowerbed, be reminded that there is a Master gardener, who’s got it all figured out!

Living the Dream

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Welcome back, my beloveds! Seems like we are half way through summer already — how’s it going?! Too fast? Yeah, us as well. The pool is green again and the pond is bubbling, so we are all up to snuff over here. In fact, I was telling a co-worker, recently, where we were and what all is on the property, and she commented “Ah.. you’re just living the dream.” Which caught me musing.

Are we really “living the dream”? What even is the dream? My dream? The all Canadian dream of independence, health and happiness? Surely, this life isn’t for everyone. In fact, I don’t even think the hubby would say we are living his dream. I more than likely dragged him kicking and screaming into my dream with the promises of fresh eggs and a bit of land ownership. It’s a fact, that yes, we … okay I … searched for three long years to find my little piece of property where chickens could roam and a few creatures could be had. I looked for a century home that had all the fixings I wanted with a bit of modern conveniences. It had to be far enough out, but not too far from “home” and our family. Itsnotta farm checked a lot of my dream boxes… but are we living the dream?

I will openly admit that I was drawn to the Instagram worthy country scene of friendly chickens and wild flowers on the porch. I’m not the girl in linen dress and straw sun hat dancing through sunflower fields, but I could fake it if I wanted. I could show you only the cute bunnies playing and digging around in the dirt. I could show you our bubbling waterfall at the pond. I would not show you the bucket full of bunny poop I collected today with sweat and mosquitoes. I would not show you the stinging nettle rash up my arms from the pulling the relentless weeds. Or the muck and mire they vacuumed out of the pond before we got the water moving again. I won’t mention the frustration and agony of my husband’s constant battle with lawn mowers and pool filters. These are the nightmares that accompany the dream. It’s work and it’s real.

Am I “Living the dream?”

So, I’m torn. Despite the blood, sweat and tears, I love this place. I sat on my porch the other day with book in hand and cool breezes blowing across my sun-kissed skin and I watched a morning dove coo at me from the over head wire and I smiled. It was my dream come true. It still is. Yet, the deeper muse here… where should we be focused? Have all my dreams been wrapped up here on this so called heaven-on-earth? Can I really be living the dream only when I am focused on my place here? In this fleeting moment? We won’t be here forever. Our bodies will age and the fight with the lawnmowers will get tougher. We won’t be able to keep up with all the work that needs to be done. Soon, we will be surrounded by only our people… not our property. The people we have brought into our circle. We can only take people with us to Heaven. Our relationships must focus on the bigger picture. The true dream of forever with Jesus must be our mantra. And we must share it with anyone and everyone.

Our Sunday service this week focused on the words of Revelation chapter 22... “the Lord is coming soon!” It was a reminder to me that yes, although my life here on earth is like “living the dream”… it will be a soon forgotten memory when I stand face to face with my Maker. Living trees in Heaven won’t need pruning. Rivers in Heaven won’t need mucking out. There won’t be curses (or mosquitoes?) or grass to cut. Then you can come over to my mansion and play with my bunnies… no shoveling involved.

Still, the true part of living that dream will be hanging out with Jesus for eternity. Sitting at His feet and listening to the stories of the disciples and how they too, must have thought they were living the dream with Jesus by their side. Until paradise, when they realized, that forever will be the dream. I can only imagine!