Tag Archives: faith journey

Encountering God: Spiritual Reflections in Matthew Perry’s Memoir

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Welcome back, my beloveds! Sorry there was no post last week… was working hard and the week got away from us before the thoughts came together. Not that the thoughts didn’t come together… they did… and I have been wanting to tackle this thought since I finished reading Matthew Perry’s memoir: Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing.

Let me start off by saying I can not recommend this book. The language is terrible. It’s not really well written, and it seems as though Perry was suffering with his “big terrible thing” in various parts of the manuscript as I found it hard to follow at times. Still, who can judge a person’s life story written from the person’s perspective? It’s real and it’s raw… and certainly had me musing.

So, for the record, Matthew Perry (a Canadian whose mother worked for Prime minister Pierre E. Trudeau!) explains his journey from childhood acting dreams to finally making it big on the sitcom “Friends”. I’m sure you’ve heard about him. Including his recent death and the fallout from his drug supplying doctors. The book certainly outlines his struggles in all its medically descriptive, pain inducing, glory.

Several girls, houses and T.V. and film contracts later, Matty lays it all on the line. His brutal honesty (including fowl language!) follows his ups and downs in Hollywood. Now, I am not a big Friends fan, but if you are a People lover, it’s an interesting read. Especially creepy knowing it was released slightly before his untimely death in a time when he was meant to be sober… I’ll let you decide where that one lies.

Shockingly, it did have me musing a much more profound, spiritually lead thought process than simply another Hollywood memoir. It was his claim of “meeting God”. I can’t quote the whole thing, but smack dab in the middle of the book, at the most bottom point of his “rock bottom”, Matthew Perry states:

“God, please help me”, I whispered. Show me you are here, God, please help me.” …. “This was {my encounter with God}. I started to cry. I mean really started to cry — that shoulder-shaking kind of uncontrollable weeping. I wasn’t crying because I was sad. I was crying because for the first time in my life I felt OK. I felt safe, taken care of. Decades of struggling with God, and wrestling with life, and sadness, all was being washed away, like a river of pain gone into oblivion. I had been in the presence of God. I was certain of it.”

Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible thing p.159-160

It was a powerful moment, obviously. And I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit had certainly reached out to Perry in a real and tangible way at the very minute when He was called upon. I have cried those very tears of emotion. I always say, one cannot encounter the God of the Universe and not be changed. And not feel something. Unfortunately, this encounter with God may have stayed with Perry, but only on the surface. His lifestyle of the rich and famous crowded out the feelings of euphoria he got a glimpse of at this moment. He didn’t allow God to truly help him as he prayed. You see, God is willing — but He doesn’t push. We must truly seek Him.

And it’s that thought that had me musing. I am deeply saddened at our dark, dark world. I am deeply saddened for the lives like Matthew Perry’s who are snuffed out by drugs, alcohol and “worldly” pleasures. So many crave peace, and when it is presented to them, they let it slip through their fingers. It makes me sad.

There are other “snip-its” of God thoughts in Perry’s book, and I think to myself… you were so close… There are others I think about when I think those thoughts too. Not strangers in Hollywood with fancy cars and mansions in the hills, but people in my own circle. People I know and care about. And that makes me even sadder. And a tad bit angry. Have you ever wanted to just shake someone and say “You just need Jesus!! (you big dim whit!)”??

So there ya have it. My own little memoir blip on this piece of the internet. My raw and open thinking about the dark world we live in and the people who need Jesus because of it. Oh beloved, if that’s you reading this and you are feeling the “touch of God” because you called out to Him… seek harder! Get real help. Find someone who can lead you to Him. An eternity away from Him is much much bigger than Matthew Perry’s big terrible thing, it is THE big terrible thing. Run from the darkness. He’ll be there, I promise.

Stepping Out of the Boat: Embracing Change and Trusting the Journey

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Welcome to another week. It’s getting cooler. Autumn will soon be upon us and we’ve celebrated a full year at #Itsnotta Farm! Our second “harvest season” will begin in the surrounding fields and the dust will fly again! We’ll fight with the youngest to make the school bus and enjoy the front porch with warm drinks. We’ve done little, or so it seems, to upgrade or change the property. Sure, we dug some in the gardens and added a few creatures. The pool is no longer green, and you can now count the fish in the pond. However, the walls are the same colour, I still have boxes to unpack. So much junk is still in the barn… but this weekend was a milestone in the “move in process”. We changed the light above our dining room table! The previous light was awful. It was huge and modern looking with spokes and numerous yellow-tinted light bulbs. It looked like a Covid molecule and I hated it from the moment we walked in. I ordered a farm-style inspired chandelier from Amazon the week we moved. It sat in the box in the closet for almost a year.

The “Before” Covid Molecule

I pulled it out of the closet and it sat on the table for another two weeks. We pondered it and perused the very vague instructions with good intentions. Hurray! Finally! This weekend, with the help of capable friends, we climbed the chairs and gathered the hanging chain. Screwed in the bright white light bulbs and voila! Done. I am so happy with it. I have no idea where the thought process was for the other monstrosity came from… brightening the room to sell? The yellow tinge was not the answer. My bright whites are just as nice. And fits the farmhouse. Still… who am I to account for someone else’s style choices?

Change. Little changes, big changes. Change is a constant in our world… we can’t avoid it as time never seems to stop. Insignificant changes like dining room lights. Big choices like moving to the country or marrying the person of your dreams. Careers. Health diagnoses. Treatment choices for things you wish you didn’t need to make choices about. Choices that make you smile. Like getting chickens and watching them run when you call them. I think God gives us choices to keep us active and vibrant. To keep us thinking and growing and adapting and smiling. Change and choices.

Thanks friends for inspiring us to get the job done!

This past Sunday, we were reminded of Matthew 14’s story of Jesus walking on water and asking Peter to come to Him on the waves. Peter had a choice to make… did he trust the “ghost figure” before him and step out of the rocking boat? Or stay where it was “safe”? I think if you have a true encounter with God, your choice is easy. You step out of the boat. You take the risk and move out of your comfort zone into a tumultuous sea and walk above the waves. Meeting the Creator of the Universe gives you the confidence to do this. It’s when we haven’t truly met with Him where choices are hard. Or you’ve asked and prayed and pleaded and you haven’t heard what you wanted to hear.

The After!

Maybe God doesn’t care about what kind of light we hang in the kitchen. Still, I think He is interested in making us happy. And challenging us to ruffle feathers and step our of our little comfort zones once and awhile to truly grow us and grow His kingdom. Change is hard sometimes. They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It at least shapes us a little different when we reach the other side. And He’s there on the water’s edge offering us a helping hand. So, how ’bout it, my friends… are you stepping out of the boat this week? I’m gonna try. I might even tackle hanging some pictures.

The Expert Master Gardener: A Reflection on Life and Lavender

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Welcome back to another week of Livin’ the Dream! It’s been a full week of activity… the hubby and I celebrated another wedding anniversary year of not killing each other, and we hosted our friends for a grand gathering and Bar-B-Que at Itsnotta Farm. One of our kids moved into a new place today, and we found a fabulous little nook off the lake to watch sunsets together (aren’t we romantic?) All around, a good time.

On with the muse for this week, though… enough about me. At said Bar-B-Que, I was touring around a friend and showing off my albeit colourful, but disaster of a flower garden. I have a variety of flowers there, but the goldenrod (aka giant ragweed) is about to take over and give my daughter-in-law a severe case of the sneezes. As the friend and I chatted about this and that that I would like to do in the garden, what I want to swap out, what I love etc. etc. it occurred to me how much I really do recognize in the flower world. I know quite a few plants by name and how tall they get, and where they like to be, and when they are in their prime. I’m not sure how I acquired such knowledge over the years… but it’s somewhere in there rattling around in my brain. Huh! I was impressed with even myself.

One of the many varieties of lavender!

Now, I will openly admit, I am certainly not a horticulturist by any stretch of the imagination. I dabble and dig and hope for the best. I know some common plant names, and googled a few, but certainly don’t know the Latin derivatives nor all their uses. I’m learning though. For our anniversary, the hubby and I visited a working lavender farm for a relaxing afternoon. I love lavender, and it’s been on my list for awhile… even though lavender is not in season at the moment, it was fun to walk through the bee loving “bushes”. Did you know there were several varieties of lavender? Buena vista, lavandin, and edelweiss (a white one!) and 450 some odd other varieties! Of lavender alone, people…

Let’s look back at my golden rod mess… golden rod is a “wild flower” … to me, a weed. Along with cosmos, daisies, buttercups and I’m sure you can name a few others. Tiger lilies are also weeds for me… you can’t kill those things! I found out that one of my favourite wild blue flowers (which grows along the road side but never will transplant to my spaces!) is actually a chicory… like the coffee substitute. A lesson I just learned this week. Now just start to let your mind wander a bit to add flowers to your list from mine. What do you know? Roses. Tropical plants, grasses… it goes on and on. And there is a name for every one! I am sure all the gardening books couldn’t put a dent in the list. Let alone the gardener get it all right.

Oh my beloved, do you see the comparison here? Our Master gardener knows not only every tree, flower and blade of grass, but He knows YOU! Every hair on your head, every wrinkle and every scar. He knows your name and why you are here. And He knows all of us. From the beginning of time to the end – God knows us all! I cannot begin to imagine. I have trouble enough keeping my own kids and pets straight… not to mention cousins and extended relatives. Yet, God knows every minute detail about you and me… and cares about it! Like an expert, He tends the hearts of each of us, like a flower farmer tends his rows of lavender. He knows the conditions necessary for us to flourish, and the things that choke us out and cause us not to flower and bloom where we are planted.

I don’t know about you, but this is so encouraging to me. God’s got this. He knows me better than I know myself! Which can be a little frightening, I suppose. Yet, the awesomeness of it, seems to outweigh the fear for me. A deep muse which I don’t understand, but captivates me nonetheless.

So, next time you drive by a field of wildflowers, or pull those “weeds” from your flowerbed, be reminded that there is a Master gardener, who’s got it all figured out!