Trapped

I want you to imagine you’re me for a moment. It’s early morning before work. The sun is up, but not quite fully awake, much like your own brain at this hour of the day. It’s time to do morning “farm chores”. Bunny basket is loaded with fresh veggies and fresh water, snacks for the chickens are there too. You’ve made your way through the barn in the dark and loaded up on pellets for the rabbits. Gathering up your stuff, and squeaking in your wet Crocs, you head for the side doorway… there’s no real door, just a passage under the old beams. Just before you make it to the dew laden grass, it smacks you square in the face: a sticky spider web!

If you’re like me, you recoil back, and in disgust, pull the dusty string from your eyelashes and hair, hoping it didn’t get in your mouth or contain its creepy maker, who may be halfway down your t-shirt by now. Now, I don’t have a problem with spiders. They are welcomed here as mosquito eaters and horse fly catchers. They don’t freak me out, in fact, I find the arachnids quite fascinating. You’ll recall how enamoured I was with our garden spider last year (read about it here). Spiders are cool, and neat to watch, but the webs in the barn are strong, sticky and huge! And when you don’t see them and get an eye-full, it is just a little bit unnerving!

In terms of strength to density ratio, a spider silk is 5x stronger than steel. So, although I am able to peel the sticky stuff off my face, the ingenuity of the creature and its trap is surely one for the books. So, let’s muse for a bit. Which side of the web do we wish to be on? Morticia Addams, of the iconic Addams family, once said, “What is normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly.” Perspective is everything. Let’s face it, no one likes to be trapped. Especially if your trapped in something 5x stronger than steel and beady little eyes are staring you down with lunch in mind. Alas, people aren’t often targeted for lunch… but we certainly feel trapped from time to time.

Perhaps it’s a job you hate. Maybe it’s a trying relationship, or a financial struggle you just can’t seem to pull yourself out of. Many suffer from ailments and are in constant pain. It’s hard to help when someone you love is struggling with health or mental illness. Depression can be just as real as broken bones. It’s everywhere. People are so trapped in darkness, that we so often just give up and allow ourselves to be wrapped in the “death cocoon” waiting to be devoured completely. Like the fly, we are stung and paralysed by our own circumstances, rendering ourselves incapable of getting free.

If you’re there, my friend, I encourage you to seek help. We need each other to pull us out of the muck and mire. Call a friend or find guidance in a program or your local church. God is so much bigger than any situation we face, but He uses people to do His good work. Sometimes seeking help is hard though, too. I don’t like to share with others or ask them to pray for me. It’s being vulnerable, and I have to “think it through”, removed from my emotions, to get there. That’s why relationships are worth the effort. It makes the asking easier. Did you know that if a bee gets tangled in a web and returns to her hive, the other bees will surround her and peel the sticky bee free until she is able to spread her wings again? What a picture of what our churches should be like!

And so, we come to another week of pondering life’s little mysteries. As usual, I have little answers to share, but thoughts nonetheless. I try and learn the lessons presented to me as they come, even when it’s being trapped in dusty, icky spider webs in an early morning barn! Welcome to the journey, my beloved. See you again next week!

Living the Dream

Welcome back, my beloveds! Seems like we are half way through summer already — how’s it going?! Too fast? Yeah, us as well. The pool is green again and the pond is bubbling, so we are all up to snuff over here. In fact, I was telling a co-worker, recently, where we were and what all is on the property, and she commented “Ah.. you’re just living the dream.” Which caught me musing.

Are we really “living the dream”? What even is the dream? My dream? The all Canadian dream of independence, health and happiness? Surely, this life isn’t for everyone. In fact, I don’t even think the hubby would say we are living his dream. I more than likely dragged him kicking and screaming into my dream with the promises of fresh eggs and a bit of land ownership. It’s a fact, that yes, we … okay I … searched for three long years to find my little piece of property where chickens could roam and a few creatures could be had. I looked for a century home that had all the fixings I wanted with a bit of modern conveniences. It had to be far enough out, but not too far from “home” and our family. Itsnotta farm checked a lot of my dream boxes… but are we living the dream?

I will openly admit that I was drawn to the Instagram worthy country scene of friendly chickens and wild flowers on the porch. I’m not the girl in linen dress and straw sun hat dancing through sunflower fields, but I could fake it if I wanted. I could show you only the cute bunnies playing and digging around in the dirt. I could show you our bubbling waterfall at the pond. I would not show you the bucket full of bunny poop I collected today with sweat and mosquitoes. I would not show you the stinging nettle rash up my arms from the pulling the relentless weeds. Or the muck and mire they vacuumed out of the pond before we got the water moving again. I won’t mention the frustration and agony of my husband’s constant battle with lawn mowers and pool filters. These are the nightmares that accompany the dream. It’s work and it’s real.

Am I “Living the dream?”

So, I’m torn. Despite the blood, sweat and tears, I love this place. I sat on my porch the other day with book in hand and cool breezes blowing across my sun-kissed skin and I watched a morning dove coo at me from the over head wire and I smiled. It was my dream come true. It still is. Yet, the deeper muse here… where should we be focused? Have all my dreams been wrapped up here on this so called heaven-on-earth? Can I really be living the dream only when I am focused on my place here? In this fleeting moment? We won’t be here forever. Our bodies will age and the fight with the lawnmowers will get tougher. We won’t be able to keep up with all the work that needs to be done. Soon, we will be surrounded by only our people… not our property. The people we have brought into our circle. We can only take people with us to Heaven. Our relationships must focus on the bigger picture. The true dream of forever with Jesus must be our mantra. And we must share it with anyone and everyone.

Our Sunday service this week focused on the words of Revelation chapter 22... “the Lord is coming soon!” It was a reminder to me that yes, although my life here on earth is like “living the dream”… it will be a soon forgotten memory when I stand face to face with my Maker. Living trees in Heaven won’t need pruning. Rivers in Heaven won’t need mucking out. There won’t be curses (or mosquitoes?) or grass to cut. Then you can come over to my mansion and play with my bunnies… no shoveling involved.

Still, the true part of living that dream will be hanging out with Jesus for eternity. Sitting at His feet and listening to the stories of the disciples and how they too, must have thought they were living the dream with Jesus by their side. Until paradise, when they realized, that forever will be the dream. I can only imagine!

The Importance of Rest: Finding Time to Pause and Reflect

Ever feel like you need a vacation from a vacation? I wonder why we feel like that. It seems as though we are in prime season for vacations, and everyone is off doing this or that for “holidays” … but no one seems to have really had a time of “rest”. We plan and organize and fill our days with activities – which – don’t get me wrong – are all fun things to do – but it seems like often the time off seems like time on. Take our weekend for example, we visited family and friends and worked on the farm, did house chores, animal chores, church etc. etc. and then boom! we were back at work again! Where did the down time come in to effect? I am sad to say that I didn’t carve out that time to chill with just me and God and our thoughts for each other. I had a great weekend… just not a restful one.

Rest seems to be an elusive creature, doesn’t it? Even when our kids were small, we made sure they were active and involved in extra curricular sports and clubs, so that they enjoyed their time. Now, as they are older, we’ve shipped them off to summer jobs to work their summer holidays away. Yet, I find myself wondering if what we really need is time to do “nothing”. Not scrolling on our phones, not napping, not reading, but simply breathing. Still. Listening to the world around us and watching it go by. Waiting to hear God’s still, soft voice in the wind, echoing into our hearts, which only when we rest are attuned to His voice. It’s tough to do. Our minds and bodies are so busy.

Psalm 37 says “be still before the Lord”. How many times do we do this? What does it mean? A few verses before remind us to “delight in the Lord” and “dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture”. Moving to the country has allowed me to witness this. Cows and chickens “dwell in safe pasture” easily. They sit. They stare at the world going by them with little worry. (Have you ever watched a cow’s face when you drive by? They watch you as if to say, “slow down and enjoy the ride, you silly human!”) They chew some grass, they peck at some bugs, wander down field or up a hill. They enjoy a good drink when it’s hot. They “rest” without stress. They take the time to just “dwell” in the land. People seldom do.

We are so hurried. We need to get stuff done. We flit from job to job like busy bees upon a field of wildflowers. Even when we are on vacation. Have you ever looked at a mini van packed for a road trip? Or sat in an airport and watched people prepare for a flight? Passports, paperwork, lists and suitcases chocked full of things to do and an outfit for every activity. And I don’t have all the answers… my suitcase is just as full as yours. I simply muse at the fact that we are asked and reminded to “rest” … and we don’t. Until we, sometimes, are forced to.

Burn outs are real and common place in our day and age. Stress related illnesses and all kinds of ailments are the result of not taking a moment to breathe. We were not meant to be the energizer bunny. Eventually, our batteries give out and we come to a grinding halt. God designed us that way. We are meant to rest. Our physical and mental (and spiritual!) bodies need to reset and recoup. It’s in this time of rest that we fill up our own cups so that we can spill out and fill other people’s buckets up.

Therefore, as we muse about this thing called rest together, I will try remind myself to pause and reflect once and awhile, as I write to encourage you to do the same. Even when we embark on the remainder of the summer season with all it’s leisure activities – remember to pencil in some time for “nothing” but rest.

A Day off to Rest!