Tag Archives: patience is a virtue

Passport Patience

Posted on by
2

This summer I learned a huge lesson in patience. I am still learning to be patient. In fact, I am learning a hard lesson about long-suffering and endurance, eaten with a slice of humble pie. Let me start at the beginning: Almost a year ago we were excited to learn that a beloved niece was getting married in the States. Covid restrictions were beginning to lift, travel was becoming a bit easier, and we were thrilled that we could plan for a full-on family vacation! Snag: Canadian passports were due to expire a month or so before our flight. No problem… lots of time to renew… times six… with one turning “adult” and one without a current health card. And with rumours of backlogs mounting. Be patient. No worries. It will all work out. Can always fast-track, right?

I’m good at forms. English is my first language. I can navigate government papers. I can follow instructions. Cue a full evening of sitting at the dining room table with a specifically coloured-inked pen in hand, a handful of rather expensive and well-earned, non-smiling photos carefully doubled signed and pinned to said matching forms. (Who knew the local convenience store was the easiest spot for passport photos? Obviously not us who drove by the sign every day that clearly states “Passport photos here” and yet sought out Costco and Shopper’s Drug Mart and Walmart for such things…) But I digress.

Five out of six passport forms were completed and in the hot little hands of an even more patient husband who delayed work one day to drive out to the neighbouring city to wait in line at the passport centre because we heard the lines were fewer there. Patience. Smile. Got to the front… “Here you go nice government lady, yes, my wife filled them out, why yes, she does have neat handwriting, yes, here is my credit card… What? A simple mistake? Yes, we can adjust that now…thank you, yes, I’d love the receipt, yes, we are travelling soon… guaranteed a week or so before our flight? Great, thank you, ma’am.” Perfect.

One to go. No worries. We can get the necessary documentation for the “adult” child who needs to fill out a whole new form. I can go to the official office and get that one “fast-tracked”. The family vacation is worth the extra few bucks. Signal God’s lesson in patience about to fall on the head of a momma bear who may just lose her sense of Christian decency. Here’s the story:

Knowing time was no longer on our side, I took a day off work to take the remaining form to one of the few centres that could process the form in time for our already booked flights. I knew the line would be long, so arrived several minutes before opening to find a rather large line already gathered outside. There was no signage. No helpers, no arrows, pylons etc. Only a few hopefuls with coffees and lawn chairs parked near the doors. The rest of us huddled behind them cued up in the overcast weather, armed with folders of forms and high hopes. I chatted with the mom of four in front of me who was re-doing all her children’s forms because they “got lost in the system”. I instructed the gentleman behind me he was in the wrong line. His was moving much quicker at the far end of the building. I texted the picture… not so long… halfway to the front door now. I’ll soon be inside. Crocheted a few rows. This mom is patient.

Exactly one hour and a half after opening time (most of us still standing around the corner to the OUTSIDE of the building) a lone (and somewhat brave) security guard comes out to inform us that “there are no more tickets for today… please go home and come back tomorrow morning…. preferably at 4:00AM to have any chance of getting inside…” 4:00AM? Really?! Needless to say, most of us were a little shocked. Many, many grumbled and fussed (and cussed) and left. The rest of us stood around for a little, pondering our predicament. Someone tried the other door, and the flock of us followed suit, hoping to take advantage of an alternative route to travel freedom. We were quickly turned back to a locked door, again, on the outside of the building.

Patience. Breathe. Let’s look at this logically. The office has been open for business for only an hour and a half. One hundred or so “secret ticket holders” seem to be lined up inside. Even counting a lunch break, these professionals should be able to serve us by end of the day! I shall commit. I will be patient and kind. Many were not. The mom of four and I took our chances. After all, today was my only day off. I have all day to stand here. Our line had dwindled to about 30 from the over 300 people. We slowly filed inside the building to another cue and those seatbelt line maker things that made us weave in and out to the “front” of the glass enclosed room to the “ticket holders” and the kiosks.

I texted the picture… not so long… halfway to the front door now. I’ll soon be inside.

The lone (and somewhat brave) security guard was now joined by about 5 or 6 others. Flashing their badges and appearing to be in charge. “I have no authority to let you inside” they say. “Come back later”. “Only if you have proof of travel within 48 hours can you be here”. “No” “NO”. God-given patience. Be kind. “Yes, sir, I appreciate what you are saying. I understand — but I choose to wait”. “Thank you, I chose to wait”. Five people left in front of the glass room. Twenty-five people holding up in the secret space.

Finally, the lone (and somewhat exasperated by this crazy lady) security guard asks my business. Ha! A month before travel? Okay, lady… if you are willing to “dropbox” your form (ie no inspection of said form, just throw it at the guy and pay your money and hope for the best) then I can give you a golden ticket. “Thank you, sir, yes I will wait”. Haha! Look at me and my patience paying off! I have been here seven hours… but it worked!

Fast forward some 20 weeks and more phone calls, emails, faxes and tears… and we are still waiting for one final passport to arrive. (Oh… no, not that last-minute one… it arrived first with no special added treatment) We missed the wedding, we missed the vacation, we missed family, and are yet to receive credits for booked flights. My sense of accomplishment and pat on the back for being so full of patience has dwindled to a story to tell about frustration. There are many more details I could have added to this long post… but here’s the point. It’s a lesson. At least I am trying to look at it as a lesson. I was kind. Was it life and death? No. Was it a disappointment? Absolutely.

Many of you may have similar stories. Maybe some of you have even better stories. We have every right to be served well by others. We’ve done “the right thing” and “followed the rules” and “deserve” this or that. It’s frustrating and sad. Yet, we have been called to stand out as light in a dark world. To spread love and not curse those who mean you harm. It’s a tough pill to swallow. It takes some self-talk and a little dose of Holy Spirit. I’m finding I have to face the lesson more and more in these post Covid days of people-who-have-lost-all-abilities-to-socially-interact. Now is the time for us to shine. May you and I learn the lesson well, my beloveds.

The Waiting Game

Posted on by
2

Have you ever had to wait for something? Perhaps you’ve been waiting a little longer these past few years – wow – years of the global pandemic. Things have been at a standstill and we are “waiting” for things to grow, change, move forward… Everything seems to take longer. We voted today in Canada, and we were told the process would take longer as everyone kept their social distance, and polling stations were shuffled in order to control crowd sizes. Our little crew moved along quite quickly and we didn’t have too much trouble. But you get it, right? Line ups, cues, and the like, are a lesson in patience.

And then there is the unknown. Waiting for decisions to be made. Waiting for lab reports to run. Waiting for news to arrive. What will be the answer? How will that outcome change me? Will I be part of the change or simply part of the wait? Any expectant mama knows all about this waiting game. As the little one grows, we become totally attached… emotionally, physically and mentally. And then when the waiting is over… well that baby rocks your whole world. But first, you have to wait.

I’ve been waiting for something for a little while now. I know the timing is not right, but I’m still eagerly awaiting. I anticipate and plan and “prepare”… but I’m still stuck in the waiting stages. And to be honest, I hate it. I’m not one for quick decisions, but I do like to see progress once a decision is made. I like to see that there is some movement forward. I’d even take movement backward, as long as there is movement. I don’t like the “stuck” in the proverbial purgatory of neither here nor there. Perhaps I’m not a very patient person. I have some flaws… patience is a virtue. We’ve written about this before. It’s still a hang up of mine. If you care to find out the sweet truth about patience being a virtue, you can read about it here. Moving on…

Each one of us must be patient at some point. It’s just the way life is. We learn the coping skills at a very young age. Breathe, cry, scream, yell, throw things… fester and mumble and complain… leave guilt ridden hints about how slow other people are… I guess your reactions depend on the thing you are being patient about. I was going to say you “mature” in your waiting game… but realistically there are plenty of grown adults who behave a lot like impatient toddlers. Cue drama. Two years old, or twenty two… same drama. Or is it? I know some very patient people. Those even keeled, totally “zen” folks who rarely get their feathers ruffled by having to wait. Is it a skill? Is it the way we are wired? Lemme know if you have an answer to this one, because I struggle with the “wait”.

Our pastor touched on this waiting game on Sunday’s study of Acts 1. Jesus told the disciples to “wait” for the gift I am sending you (i.e. the Holy Spirit, see Acts 1:4). Perhaps many of the disciples were like me… and not so good at the waiting game. They had seen some radical things happen in the short period before these words, and I am sure they were “chomping at the bit” to see the early church’s movement gain momentum. But Jesus told them to wait. If they had chosen not to wait, then what power would they receive at the day of Pentecost? One definition of waiting I found was this:

noun: “the action of staying where one is or delaying action until a particular time or until something else happens”

I like it because it indicates steps. I like steps. Wait until this, or this…then this. This helps me get through my waiting. I can do this and this until this. Then wait. Until this….

The waiting game is not an easy game to master. It’s a learned skill. It takes some guts. It takes self control and patience. For many of us, waiting is a struggle. They say good things come to those who wait. This was certainly the case in Acts 1. I’m hoping it will be for me at the end of my waiting game… and I trust that God gives you the patience to wait as well. Until next week, my friends! I’ll be waiting!!

Patience as a Virtue

Posted on by
1

We had a little lesson in patience this week. Okay, we’ve been having a big lesson in patience this whole year, haven’t we? I don’t know about you, but I think I am finally getting sick of this lockdown — even as an introvert. We’ve been waiting. We’ve been waiting for haircuts and restaurant meals and movie theatres. We’ve been waiting in grocery lineups and online check out queues for the free shipping days. We’ve been waiting to get back to family gatherings and celebrations and hugging. Yes, even me. I’ve been waiting, too.

We had a smaller lesson in patience this week — a simple one that no one really noticed except me. Which was the inspiration for this week’s muse. Let me explain. One of our favourite “snacks” is something called Butterscotch Confetti. It’s easy to make and yummy. I was going to post the recipe, but remembered I already did! So… check that out here. Anyway… the youngest decided to make up a batch of the decadent “squares” (Did you know that Canadians call them “squares” and American’s call them “bars”… total side note but I am just free writing… so, hey what the heck…go on a rabbit trail… Wonder what other countries call such desserts… oh, a muse for anther time….)

Where was I? Oh yeah. Butterscotch squares. So, when you make these things, you melt all kinds of yummy goodness in a pot and then you have to “wait until you can hold your hand on the bottom of the pot before adding your coloured marshmallows”. Herein lies the lesson in patience. Wait. It’s a delicate balance, because if you don’t wait, your marshmallows melt and you get a sticky mess… I’ve seen it done. But if you wait too long, then your other ingredients start to harden into the fudge-like dessert they are supposed to be… without your marshmallows. You get it. Now, I have a fairly high heat bearing feel, so I tend to be impatient and throw in the coloured package of squishes fairly early. So far they have not melted away yet, though. And so I marveled as the pot sat on the stove as my daughter “waited” for it to cool. I usually have something to fill in my time so never have I “waited” for this task to occur… at least not that I have noticed before. Hence, this week’s muse.

Patience. The old time phrase “patience is a virtue” was never actually quoted as such in the Bible. Patience is not a “virtue”. Or is it?

“Hot tempers cause arguments, but patience brings peace.” Prov. 15:18. “Love is patient. Love is kind” 1 Corinthians 4:13, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.” Rom 12:12. “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Eph. 4:2. And that is only a sampling of the verses that talk about this all important fruit of the spirit. Obviously, patience is something we need to work on in our lives. Let’s be honest, though, it’s a difficult one. To the mom who has the two year old who wants to put on her own shoes when you are already late leaving for your appointment. To the parent who has the wayward teenager who must learn the hard way. To the senior who has to care for the body who doesn’t work the way it used to. Sometimes there is no answer and we just have to go through it. Then patience is not in the waiting …but in the day to day, one foot in front of the other kind of patience which is linked arm and arm with endurance.

Learning patience is not simply an emotional response to a trying situation, either. It involves your belief system, your physical ability to self control and self regulate as well as your thoughts about gratitude. Does your impatience lead to anger, or can you hold your breath, count to 10 and take control of the time? Are you grateful for where you are now or are you waiting for the next best thing…now. Do you dump those marshmallows too early?? It takes practice.

I discovered that the word “virtue” is used to describe a trait or quality that is deemed to be morally good. In other words, it is a behavior that shows high moral standards: doing what is right and avoiding what is wrong. Is patience worthy of “virtue” then? Perhaps. It certainly is a Biblical truth that should be practiced and “worked on”. Especially if you want perfectly decadent butterscotch confetti.