Tag Archives: spiritual journeys

Stepping Out of the Boat: Embracing Change and Trusting the Journey

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Welcome to another week. It’s getting cooler. Autumn will soon be upon us and we’ve celebrated a full year at #Itsnotta Farm! Our second “harvest season” will begin in the surrounding fields and the dust will fly again! We’ll fight with the youngest to make the school bus and enjoy the front porch with warm drinks. We’ve done little, or so it seems, to upgrade or change the property. Sure, we dug some in the gardens and added a few creatures. The pool is no longer green, and you can now count the fish in the pond. However, the walls are the same colour, I still have boxes to unpack. So much junk is still in the barn… but this weekend was a milestone in the “move in process”. We changed the light above our dining room table! The previous light was awful. It was huge and modern looking with spokes and numerous yellow-tinted light bulbs. It looked like a Covid molecule and I hated it from the moment we walked in. I ordered a farm-style inspired chandelier from Amazon the week we moved. It sat in the box in the closet for almost a year.

The “Before” Covid Molecule

I pulled it out of the closet and it sat on the table for another two weeks. We pondered it and perused the very vague instructions with good intentions. Hurray! Finally! This weekend, with the help of capable friends, we climbed the chairs and gathered the hanging chain. Screwed in the bright white light bulbs and voila! Done. I am so happy with it. I have no idea where the thought process was for the other monstrosity came from… brightening the room to sell? The yellow tinge was not the answer. My bright whites are just as nice. And fits the farmhouse. Still… who am I to account for someone else’s style choices?

Change. Little changes, big changes. Change is a constant in our world… we can’t avoid it as time never seems to stop. Insignificant changes like dining room lights. Big choices like moving to the country or marrying the person of your dreams. Careers. Health diagnoses. Treatment choices for things you wish you didn’t need to make choices about. Choices that make you smile. Like getting chickens and watching them run when you call them. I think God gives us choices to keep us active and vibrant. To keep us thinking and growing and adapting and smiling. Change and choices.

Thanks friends for inspiring us to get the job done!

This past Sunday, we were reminded of Matthew 14’s story of Jesus walking on water and asking Peter to come to Him on the waves. Peter had a choice to make… did he trust the “ghost figure” before him and step out of the rocking boat? Or stay where it was “safe”? I think if you have a true encounter with God, your choice is easy. You step out of the boat. You take the risk and move out of your comfort zone into a tumultuous sea and walk above the waves. Meeting the Creator of the Universe gives you the confidence to do this. It’s when we haven’t truly met with Him where choices are hard. Or you’ve asked and prayed and pleaded and you haven’t heard what you wanted to hear.

The After!

Maybe God doesn’t care about what kind of light we hang in the kitchen. Still, I think He is interested in making us happy. And challenging us to ruffle feathers and step our of our little comfort zones once and awhile to truly grow us and grow His kingdom. Change is hard sometimes. They say that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. It at least shapes us a little different when we reach the other side. And He’s there on the water’s edge offering us a helping hand. So, how ’bout it, my friends… are you stepping out of the boat this week? I’m gonna try. I might even tackle hanging some pictures.

Trapped

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I want you to imagine you’re me for a moment. It’s early morning before work. The sun is up, but not quite fully awake, much like your own brain at this hour of the day. It’s time to do morning “farm chores”. Bunny basket is loaded with fresh veggies and fresh water, snacks for the chickens are there too. You’ve made your way through the barn in the dark and loaded up on pellets for the rabbits. Gathering up your stuff, and squeaking in your wet Crocs, you head for the side doorway… there’s no real door, just a passage under the old beams. Just before you make it to the dew laden grass, it smacks you square in the face: a sticky spider web!

If you’re like me, you recoil back, and in disgust, pull the dusty string from your eyelashes and hair, hoping it didn’t get in your mouth or contain its creepy maker, who may be halfway down your t-shirt by now. Now, I don’t have a problem with spiders. They are welcomed here as mosquito eaters and horse fly catchers. They don’t freak me out, in fact, I find the arachnids quite fascinating. You’ll recall how enamoured I was with our garden spider last year (read about it here). Spiders are cool, and neat to watch, but the webs in the barn are strong, sticky and huge! And when you don’t see them and get an eye-full, it is just a little bit unnerving!

In terms of strength to density ratio, a spider silk is 5x stronger than steel. So, although I am able to peel the sticky stuff off my face, the ingenuity of the creature and its trap is surely one for the books. So, let’s muse for a bit. Which side of the web do we wish to be on? Morticia Addams, of the iconic Addams family, once said, “What is normal for the spider, is chaos for the fly.” Perspective is everything. Let’s face it, no one likes to be trapped. Especially if your trapped in something 5x stronger than steel and beady little eyes are staring you down with lunch in mind. Alas, people aren’t often targeted for lunch… but we certainly feel trapped from time to time.

Perhaps it’s a job you hate. Maybe it’s a trying relationship, or a financial struggle you just can’t seem to pull yourself out of. Many suffer from ailments and are in constant pain. It’s hard to help when someone you love is struggling with health or mental illness. Depression can be just as real as broken bones. It’s everywhere. People are so trapped in darkness, that we so often just give up and allow ourselves to be wrapped in the “death cocoon” waiting to be devoured completely. Like the fly, we are stung and paralysed by our own circumstances, rendering ourselves incapable of getting free.

If you’re there, my friend, I encourage you to seek help. We need each other to pull us out of the muck and mire. Call a friend or find guidance in a program or your local church. God is so much bigger than any situation we face, but He uses people to do His good work. Sometimes seeking help is hard though, too. I don’t like to share with others or ask them to pray for me. It’s being vulnerable, and I have to “think it through”, removed from my emotions, to get there. That’s why relationships are worth the effort. It makes the asking easier. Did you know that if a bee gets tangled in a web and returns to her hive, the other bees will surround her and peel the sticky bee free until she is able to spread her wings again? What a picture of what our churches should be like!

And so, we come to another week of pondering life’s little mysteries. As usual, I have little answers to share, but thoughts nonetheless. I try and learn the lessons presented to me as they come, even when it’s being trapped in dusty, icky spider webs in an early morning barn! Welcome to the journey, my beloved. See you again next week!

Living the Dream

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Welcome back, my beloveds! Seems like we are half way through summer already — how’s it going?! Too fast? Yeah, us as well. The pool is green again and the pond is bubbling, so we are all up to snuff over here. In fact, I was telling a co-worker, recently, where we were and what all is on the property, and she commented “Ah.. you’re just living the dream.” Which caught me musing.

Are we really “living the dream”? What even is the dream? My dream? The all Canadian dream of independence, health and happiness? Surely, this life isn’t for everyone. In fact, I don’t even think the hubby would say we are living his dream. I more than likely dragged him kicking and screaming into my dream with the promises of fresh eggs and a bit of land ownership. It’s a fact, that yes, we … okay I … searched for three long years to find my little piece of property where chickens could roam and a few creatures could be had. I looked for a century home that had all the fixings I wanted with a bit of modern conveniences. It had to be far enough out, but not too far from “home” and our family. Itsnotta farm checked a lot of my dream boxes… but are we living the dream?

I will openly admit that I was drawn to the Instagram worthy country scene of friendly chickens and wild flowers on the porch. I’m not the girl in linen dress and straw sun hat dancing through sunflower fields, but I could fake it if I wanted. I could show you only the cute bunnies playing and digging around in the dirt. I could show you our bubbling waterfall at the pond. I would not show you the bucket full of bunny poop I collected today with sweat and mosquitoes. I would not show you the stinging nettle rash up my arms from the pulling the relentless weeds. Or the muck and mire they vacuumed out of the pond before we got the water moving again. I won’t mention the frustration and agony of my husband’s constant battle with lawn mowers and pool filters. These are the nightmares that accompany the dream. It’s work and it’s real.

Am I “Living the dream?”

So, I’m torn. Despite the blood, sweat and tears, I love this place. I sat on my porch the other day with book in hand and cool breezes blowing across my sun-kissed skin and I watched a morning dove coo at me from the over head wire and I smiled. It was my dream come true. It still is. Yet, the deeper muse here… where should we be focused? Have all my dreams been wrapped up here on this so called heaven-on-earth? Can I really be living the dream only when I am focused on my place here? In this fleeting moment? We won’t be here forever. Our bodies will age and the fight with the lawnmowers will get tougher. We won’t be able to keep up with all the work that needs to be done. Soon, we will be surrounded by only our people… not our property. The people we have brought into our circle. We can only take people with us to Heaven. Our relationships must focus on the bigger picture. The true dream of forever with Jesus must be our mantra. And we must share it with anyone and everyone.

Our Sunday service this week focused on the words of Revelation chapter 22... “the Lord is coming soon!” It was a reminder to me that yes, although my life here on earth is like “living the dream”… it will be a soon forgotten memory when I stand face to face with my Maker. Living trees in Heaven won’t need pruning. Rivers in Heaven won’t need mucking out. There won’t be curses (or mosquitoes?) or grass to cut. Then you can come over to my mansion and play with my bunnies… no shoveling involved.

Still, the true part of living that dream will be hanging out with Jesus for eternity. Sitting at His feet and listening to the stories of the disciples and how they too, must have thought they were living the dream with Jesus by their side. Until paradise, when they realized, that forever will be the dream. I can only imagine!